Things have reached a new low, financially.  We mapped out our income and bills for the next two weeks, and they are pretty much equal.  That's not including food.  So tonight I opened up the food storage we got for our wedding (thank you, grandparents!) and I'm pretty much going to be putting beans/rice/wheat in everything for a while, and making bread for as long as the flour lasts.  After that, I'm out of ideas.

Loren has applied at Qwest, which, according to our brother in law who just got a job with them, is hiring and has amazing benefits, especially for a job that only requires a high school diploma.  We are praying he gets it.

Our credit card, which is how we've been paying for rent, is about to run out.  We have about another month or two of credit left.  With my job being unreliable, and Loren's boss being senile and paranoid, that job with Qwest is pretty much our only hope.

Registration for fall semester started on the first of the month, and I should have registered then, but since I owed the school about $300 for insurance I could have lived without, I couldn't.  I applied for a private grant.  Guess what they told me.  I have to do verification again.  Remember how my Stafford loans were about two months late last year?  Yeah, I have to go through that stupid process again.  At least it's just Loren and my tax stuff this year.  My parents won't have to come into it at all.  I was told that I would have to wait one to two weeks for the government to get back to the school with the okay.  At this point, I'm pretty much in breakdown mode.  It's my senior year for heaven's sake!  I have to get these classes if I want even the hope of graduation only a semester late.  Two weeks from now is after the new freshmen and after the off track students get a crack at the classes. 

We are pretty much at the end of our rope.  So we fasted yesterday.  Probably the most sincere fast I've ever done.  Possibly second to the time my mom was in the hospital and I thought she was dying, but I don't remember- I was only in middle school and I don't even remember why she was sick now.  Possible but not likely.

About ten o'clock last night, while Loren was at work, doing one of his two shifts this week, I checked my email, hoping against logic that there would be some good news.

And there was.

They gave me $600 to cover the debt I have right now, plus $1,000 extra for the school year.  I only had to do a few things like write a thank you letter to the man who gave the grant, which I bawled almost the whole time I was writing, and watch a few hours of money management videos.  I can handle that.  It's like getting paid $200 an hour.  I'm okay with that.

We're still praying hard for Loren to get that job, but this grant will help this month, and maybe help us from being in the same situation next summer.  I'll probably get the maximum amount of Pell grants, since I'm now married and not a dependent of my parents, and that should keep me from getting more student loans this year.  I want to avoid as much student debt as possible.  Contrary to what it may seem, I really do know how to manage money.  I would give anything (almost.  I'm keeping Loren.  But pretty much anything else.) to be completely out of debt, but the fact remains that our income is less than our bills.  Which really sucks.

Pray for us.  We need another miracle.

So greedy I sound.  I should be happy with just this grant.

I've just noticed that I've been all doom and gloom about our finances a lot recently.  I'm sorry!  I'll do my best to find something else to complain about for the next month!  

I get free food at my job.  It's a lot of greasy stuff- hamburgers, fries, other deep fried stuff- or sugary stuff- ice-cream, soda, candy.  It's going to be bad, I can tell that already.  I've had more soda and candy in the last week than I had in probably three months.  Uh-oh.  Loren mentioned that I need to be really careful what I eat at work, and I though, "This from the guy who will eat half a cake in one day.  It's none of his business anyway."  But he's right.  It might just be a mental thing so far, but I feel like I'm putting on a bit more fat around the middle.  I should start doing sit ups.  Or stop snagging a fry every time I walk by the tray.  That would probably work too.  It would take less self control, too.

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

All week I've been super moody and depressed.  In fact, one time, this song came on the radio, and it was a happy song, and I started tearing up.  It's been endless.  I've freaked Loren out a bit, I think.

And then my chestises have been sore and swollen, and I've been tired and yet unable to sleep, and I've been randomly feeling nauseous, and I had spotting about the right time for implantation bleeding.  On top of that, I'm on day 36 of my cycle.  Even Loren mentioned that I might be pregnant.  I imagine symptoms a lot, so I can't really trust my own judgement.  So I took a pregnancy test this morning.  It was a...

Big...

Fat...

Freaking...

NEGATIVE!!

Argh!!

How much longer is this going to take?!?

I get nervous when I'm home alone, especially when it starts getting dark.  Lock the door, turn on lights, play music loud.  And then I think, You're in Rexburg.  You know, Mormon-ville.  If there's anywhere you shouldn't feel nervous not locking the door, it's here.

Like last night, after we got back from Idaho Falls with our bookshelves (!), we unlocked the door, and then in the process of unloading groceries, bookshelves, etc., we left the keys in the lock.  Didn't notice until Sara and Dustin stopped by today and handed Loren our keys.  Nice.